Wednesday 13

Condolences – Wednesday 13

 

Release Year: 2017

Rating: 7.5/10

When Wednesday 13 revealed his next album, I didn’t have high hopes. I knew I was going to give it a listen, but I didn’t expect to like it aside from maybe one song. His last record, Monsters of the Universe: Come Out and Plague, was forgettable and found him talking about the same things he has been years, but in a boring way. The album didn’t grip me like some of his others. After listening to Condolences, I was surprised at just how much I liked it. Yes, he’s still singing about dead girls and spooky things, but he takes on a dark theme that makes the music fresh and exciting.

Rather than singing about horror movies and spooky themes in general, this album is drenched in death. The brief intro, “Eulogy XIII” brings in the dark tones and more serious matter of the album. Things properly kick off with “What the Night Brings.” It’s typical 13 affair with music suited for a black and white horror film that’s hard hitting and exciting. “Blood Sick” is another rager with 13 playing the bad guy once again, something he’s good at. Not only do these songs stand out, they show off the heavier tone of the album.

Wednesday 13 takes things up a notch by gearing towards a heavy metal sound. Not that he hasn’t played with this in the past, but his songs usually fall somewhere between punk rock and hard rock. Here, everything is cranked up leaving you with memorable songs. The heavy music really draws you in and keeps your attention, whereas previous efforts lose you after a few songs.

“Cadaverous,” the strongest song the album, finds 13 returning to his favorite topic: necrophilia. It’s heavy and is brutal as hell. He sounds sinister as he sings “Full moon tonight alright/I’ve got some sick thoughts on my mind/On to your grave site/I’m digging in to see what I can find.” The trudging riffs and intense nature give the whole thing this vicious vibe as if 13 is in a rage with nothing safe in his path.

“You Breathe, I Kill” and “Prey for Me” are violent rampages written from the point of view of a serial killer. They have a similar aggressive, brutal vibe as the rest of the album, but still kicks major ass. “Good Riddance” is more personal being about the death of a relationship, while “Omen Amen” is a throwback to when the religious right feared heavy metal was the devil’s music. Death looms in all these songs making for a slightly more serious endeavor. They also scratch that heavy metal itch when you just want music that’s unapologetic and loud as hell.

Because of the coherent theme, it seems 13 held back on the campy aspect for this album. Normally, his records are filled with over-the-top songs that are fun but can cross the line into downright cheesy. There’s little of that here. While I wouldn’t call his lyrics deep, they are a bit more serious and focused here. It’s a nice change of pace from overt campiness that makes your eyes rolls. Normally, I can’t stand to listen to his albums in full. This time I gladly listened to the whole thing on repeat.

There are a few low points here with one being “Cruel to You.” This sounds like classic Wednesday 13 all the way right down to the music, but it’s so boring. Once again, he spouts about being the boogeyman and stalking a young woman, a topic he’s very familiar with. This song so tiring because it sounds exactly like what he’s done in the past. Everything from the music to the melody sounds like a better 13 song you’ve heard before. Plus, it really doesn’t fit the dark tone of the album.

As always, 13 shows off his sentimental side with a few ballads. “Condolences” has awesome music that sounds like a funeral march, which is very fitting for the gloomy vibe. But weaknesses start to show in the verses, which are half-whispered, half-sung. They’re just not that interesting. The hook is strong and makes the track bearable. Otherwise, it’s okay at best. The closing track “Death Infinity” suffers the same problems as his other ballads. He lays it on real thick and before we get to the second verse, you’re ready to move on. It’s over the top and dull like his other slow songs. Then again, I’ve never been a fan of these types of songs.

Condolences is a solid record. I didn’t expect to like it as much as I did. I didn’t even plan on reviewing it. Wednesday 13 finds a good balance between moving towards a darker, heavier sound while keeping his classic vibe. Not every song is great, but the album is a lot of fun, even though it’s about death. Many of the songs are memorable, unlike his last effort. For once I found I could sit through the entire album, multiple times without getting sick of it. 13 steps up his game for this release proving the old ghoul still has some spooky tricks up his sleeve.

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Playlist: Lovin’ the Dead

If your local stores are being taken over by red and pink teddy bears and lots of chocolates, then you know Valentine’s Day is on the way. Some see it as a romantic day to remind that special someone you love them. Others see it as corporate made up bullshit to sell more greeting cards and candy no one will finish. So instead of recapping sappy love songs that every playlist on the internet will be talking, let’s look at the dark side of love no one wants to talk about: necrophilia. For reasons that remain unknown for the majority of the population, some people really get off on the dead. It’s a taboo subject, making it perfect for rock and heavy metal stars to talk about. There are a disturbing amount of songs about necrophilia out there, so let’s check out a small sampling. Just remember when you’re listening to songs about caressing dead flesh and breathing in rotten smells, have a happy Valentine’s Day.

“Night Shift” – Siouxsie and the Banshees

Siouxsie and the Banshees have never shied away from the Gothic and the macabre, but here they get downright disturbing. This track from their 1981 album Juju, paints a graphic picture of a madman who kills women and then has their way with them. Siouxsie sings “The cold marble slab submits at my feet/With a neat dissection/Looking so sweet to me /please come to me/With your cold flesh/my cold love.” Her haunting delivery and the dark lyrics are enough to give you chills. As if that wasn’t bad enough, the song is based on the crimes of Peter Sutcliffe aka The Yorkshire Ripper. The English killer murdered 13 women between 1975 – 1980. He was finally convicted in 1981. So yeah, this song is kind of terrifying.

“I Want You…Dead” – Wednesday 13

Wednesday 13 has made a career out of singing about the dead. Writing songs about loving the dead is kind of his thing and it’s no different on this track from his solo debut album. Here, he makes it clear how he likes his women, no longer breathing: “Give ’em to me decayed, give ’em to me anyway/I don’t care ’cause you know I only want you/Dead, dead, dead.” He doesn’t even care if his dead lady decides to come back to life, kill him slowly or butcher, he just wants them dead. Thankfully, 13 spares us of the details of what he wants to do with the dead. But it’s not hard to put two and two together.

“I Love the Dead” – Alice Cooper

Is there any surprise Alice Cooper has a song about necrophilia? Coming from the album Billion Dollar Babies, an album exploring the dark, sick perversions in humans, Cooper sings about how much he loves the dead. It’s pretty straight forward as he sings about how he likes the dead “before they’re cold” and how he has “other uses” for them. If it wasn’t clear enough what plans he has for them, the bridge of the song features Cooper moaning and groaning in the throes of what I can only assume is pleasure. It may be one of the tamer songs about necrophilia sparing gory details, but for 1973 it was beyond scandalous. It remains one of Cooper’s most beloved songs and one that puts the talents of the band on display.

“I Fell in Love with a Dead Boy” – Antony and the Johnsons

This is probably the most beautiful song about the dead on this playlist. The haunting, yet beautiful voice of Anohni is enough to bring you to tears as she sings about a dead boy she found. Though the person is clearly dead and the protagonist even wonders if she should call a doctor, she lays with him anyway. Slowly, she falls in love with him though no one else understands the relationship. Oddly enough, it’s very sweet and sentimental. It’s haunting and downright gorgeous, which you don’t expect from a song about the dead.

“Corpse in my Bed” – Creature Feature

With psychedelic music made for The Munsters, this horror rock duo actually questions how wrong it is to have a corpse in your bed. They don’t go into disgusting detail, but like other songs on the playlist, they find comfort in their dead love. The singer here doesn’t care if his love is just skin and bone. The only thing he seems to mind is the smell, which is a mix of “rancid milk and moldy pears.” He later admits he’s just alone and doesn’t want to be by himself. Why he just doesn’t meet someone online is beyond me. At least he seems to just be lying next to the corpse in this song.

“Last Kiss Goodbye” – Lordi

It makes sense that a Finnish metal band that frequently dresses as demons occasionally sing about loving the dead. In this track, frontman Mr. Lordi sings about finding a lovely dead woman under the trees, wrapped in leaves, yet knowing he can share his desire with no one else. He vows to keep it a secret as he gives her one last kiss. The song takes a somewhat comical approach to the subject with the line “It’s been years since we last met/Now it’s fall and the leaves are wet/I think you must have lost some weight/but you’re still lovely.” For a song about necrophilia, it’s surprisingly upbeat. You’ll find yourself singing along before realizing what it’s actually about.

“Heirate Mich” – Rammstein

This track, which means “Marry Me” in German, finds a widowed man so desperate to be with his loved one again he goes to extreme lengths to be with her. The song details him digging into the earth, pulling her up, and caressing her cold skin. The lyrics get a tad disgusting when Till Lindemann sings about her skin feeling like paper and pieces of her falling away. The man is tortured as she has slipped away from him once again. Rather than talking about screwing dead corpses, this is a tragic tale of not getting over losing a loved one. The song doesn’t seem as shocking, disturbing, or nasty as the others on the playlist. It’s quite sad, making you feel bad for the guy. Of course with its boot-stomping rhythm and intense vocals, Rammstein still finds a way to make the song brutal.

“Dead Girls” – Voltaire

Voltaire deals with all things dark, Gothic, and macabre, so it makes sense to find one of his songs on the list. But this one differs from most here. Rather than being about not getting over a lost love or just having a weird fetish, Voltaire tells the story of a man who prefers his women dead because he has rotten luck with living women. This man loves the dead because they don’t hurt him, fully accept him, and are kind in a way no other woman has been. Looking at it this way, you feel bad for the guy. He only feels comfortable around the dead, even though he knows it’s pretty strange. Thinking about it that way it’s not as creepy, but still creepy.

“Chrissy Kiss the Corpse” – Of Montreal

You wouldn’t expect this jaunty tune to be about a girl with a disturbing habit. Sounding like an upbeat vintage beach party tune, the band sings about finding a corpse at the bus stop and having fun with it. But drawing on it and putting a match between its toes is nothing compared to what Chrissy does with it. Granted it’s only a kiss, nothing too graphic, but the song suggests this isn’t the first time Chrissy has exhibited such behavior. Even the cops that come by wanting to check out the action. Is doing the actual kissing of the corpse more disturbing than watching it happen? Eh, this song is weird either way.

“Die My Bride” – Murderdolls

Wednesday 13 pops up again with another song about loving the dead with his former horrorpunk outfit the Murderdolls. Here 13 gets a bit more graphic as he details all the blood and gore. He’s not just digging up girls to get busy with. He goes for a fresh kill before he says “I do.” There’s talk of pulling off fingers and bashing in heads in this gruesome song. It sounds like a plot of a shlocky b-horror movie, which makes sense coming from 13 and crew.

“Fuck the Dead” – GG Allin

When you’re known for cutting and shitting yourself on stage, threating to commit suicide live, and fighting with the crowd, a song about necrophilia doesn’t seem so shocking. So of course, it would be a topic GG Allin would cover. Allin isn’t subtle about desires in the least. The hook is nothing but him shouting “fuck the dead/fuck the dead.” And he goes for distasteful as he describes eating maggots, rotten smells, and screwing every cold orifice. It’s disgusting and lewd, much like Allin himself.

“Necrophiliac” – Slayer

This song isn’t just about screwing the dead; it’s about breeding the spawn of Satan. This is the type of song that scared the shit out of parents in the 80s. It’s full of bloated corpses, lewd imagery, sex, and of course, the devil. After doing the deed with the corpse, a demon bursts out of the body and takes revenge against the one who took advantage of the dead body. Now, the necrophiliac has to spend the rest of his life in hell burning in the fiery depths. So, I guess it’s teaching a lesson about not fucking dead bodies?

“Born in a Casket” – Cannibal Corpse

Cannibal Corpse is known for shocking and disgusting people with their album artwork alone. So, a song detailing necrophilia is par for the course. This song pulls no punches and maps out every nasty, gruesome detail about the deed: the rotten smell, oozing goo, and green pus. Just when things couldn’t get nastier, the breeding produces an unholy spawn, which proceeds to feast on the dead flesh. And of course, there’s mention of “devouring the afterbirth.” This song isn’t for the faint of heart, that is if you can understand what they’re saying. Maybe it’s best to have the lyrics handy when listening to this one.

Which song about necrophilia got under your skin the most? Which ones did I forget? Let me know in the comments!

Skeletons – Wednesday 13

Release Year: 2008

Rating: 6.5/10

Wednesday 13 has built his musical career on b-horror and things that go bump in the night. Though he started with b-horror roots, as he continued releasing albums he’s branched out into more traditional rock and even metal, which is the sound of 13’s third album Skeletons. Wednesday 13 turns to his usual themes of horror, the supernatural, and fiendish ghouls, but with less punk rock and more hard rock. But will the rocker’s reliance on the same ol’ same ol’ make for a tiring album?

Wednesday 13 is up to the same spooky tricks on this album. Plenty of the songs like “Gimme Gimme Bloodshed” and “All American Massacre” make the same references to horror movies and creatures that go bump in the night as his previous efforts. The latter track even seems to be inspired by Texas Chainsaw Massacre since the horror weapon pops up several times in the lyrics. The strong opening track “Scream Baby Scream” begins with weird spacey sound followed by heart pounding percussion as 13 sings about ghouls and creeps. After the first verse, the song gets more intense as the guitars amp up and 13 lets out a vicious howl. This track is definitely in line with his horrorpunk past and is something you would expect from the rocker.

Almost the entire album continues in this fashion though the music seems more rock and metal inspired than punk. “Not Another Teenage Anthem” finds 13 singing about teenage rebellion even though he pretends that’s not what it’s about, the gruesome “Put Your Deathmask On” steps inside the mind of a serial killer, and “With Friends like These” finds 13 at his snarkiest as he tears apart people he thought he could rely on, but turned out to be assholes. The music is pretty similar for all the songs: grinding guitars, heart racing pace, and aggressive delivery. Granted, these are all things that make a Wednesday 13 album, but everything about it is only okay here. Very few of the songs stand out. Most of them aren’t bad, just not very memorable. When the rocker does finally change pace the results aren’t so great.

Wednesday 13 slows things down with “Skeletons” and “My Demise.” Though he tries to open himself up with these personal tracks, they don’t sound very good. There’s nothing wrong with the somber, slow tone of the title track. He even shakes things up by adding a jangly piano before switching to gritty guitars. But it gets awkward when 13 starts actually singing. His voice was not made for sincere crooning. It sounds like he’s doing a bad impression of Peter Murphy. It all sounds like a half-hearted attempt at a ballad. It’s so cringe worthy. We run into the same problem on the latter track. This one seems more western inspired with the soft acoustic music and odd wailing sounds in the background. But again 13 tries singing and it doesn’t work. Plenty of artists get by without actually having a good voice, but singing in this style just doesn’t suit Wednesday 13. His regular vocal style is just fine; it’s unbearable to hear him try on these two songs.

There are a handful of pretty good songs on the album, but not enough to make it worth sitting through the whole thing. Aside from the opening track, “No Rabbit in the Hat” is a strong cut which kicks off with fast, hard hitting music that gets your blooding boiling. There are more references to supernatural creatures along with nods to a love of violence. Savvy listeners will pick up the “And I’ve got an addiction/To ammunition, yeah,yeah,” which sounds similar to another line from “Gimme Gimme Bloodshed: “Now I, have a confession/A love affair with smith and wesson.” Not only are the two lines identical, but the latter pops up again in the Murderdolls song “Bored ‘Til Death.” The recycled lyric doesn’t make the song any better or worse; he just likes to sing about guns.

Another memorable song is “From Here to the Hearse.” Just like his best stuff, this one is spooky, b-horror vibes all the way. The music even sounds like it comes from a cheesy horror movie. The tables are turned here as 13 is hunted down by a loved one who wants to murder him. It’s filled with plenty of violence, gruesome imagery, and corny lyrical wordplay we expect from the best Wednesday 13 songs. It may not stray far from his comfort zone, but at least he does it well here. Though the other songs are bearable, they don’t stay with you once the album is done like these tracks.

Skeletons isn’t terrible, but unlike his debut there’s nothing really memorable about it. There are a handful of tracks that really grab your attention; everything else is just okay. It could be because it’s similar to what he’s already done. Or that the more rock oriented music can be standard and generic at times. Usually his songs about the supernatural and all things creepy are really fun even when they’re cheesy. But here it gets tiring and dull by the fourth track. It’s the same thing we’ve heard before, which seems to be a bit of an issue with most of his albums. Maybe some people don’t mind that, but other listeners may want something fresh from the rocker. It’s not a bad record, just pretty damn forgettable.

Playlist: Horror Movie Fest

Pull out the costumes, stock up on candy, and break out the scary movies. Halloween is upon us! Of course horror movies are big this time of year, but they also find themselves in several songs. Whether directly about scary movies or just inspired by them, several musicians have channeled their love for the terrifying genre into their music. And no, I’m not just talking about Rob Zombie. While you’re looking through Netflix for the best horror movies out there, here’s a playlist of songs about horror movies.

“Living Dead Girl” – Rob Zombie

You could fill this entire playlist with tracks from the Zombie man, but not only is this one of his best songs, it’s also packed with horror references. The title is taken from a 1982 Jean Rollins film of the same name and the video is a take on the silent horror film The Cabinet of Doctor Caligari. There are also various samples taken from movies, such as Lady Frankenstein and Daughters of Darkness. At least you can always count on this man for great horror inspired songs…not so much for movies though.

“Eyes Without a Face” – Billy Idol

One of my favorite Idol songs, this one gets its title from the French film Les yeux sans visage aka Eyes Without a Face. Though it starts out as one of the punk rockers more mellow tracks, it still packs a punch with a searing riff from Steve Stevens during the bridge. It’s a ballad where Idol manages to sound haunting, yet longing for his lover. It’s still one of his best tracks and to think it was inspired from this little horror gem. Go watch that movie if you haven’t by the way. It’s unsettling and impressive for a movie of its time.

“Hellraiser” – Motorhead

This song has an interesting history. It was first recorded by Ozzy Osbourne in 1991 for the album No More Tears. It was then re-recorded by Motorhead the following year and repurposed it for the film Hellraiser 3: Hell on Earth.  Just from listening to the lyrics you can tell producers latched onto the song for the title alone. It doesn’t actually have much to do with the movie, aside from Pinhead appearing in the video. The closest the song comes is during the second verse that talks about waking up in another place and doing something bad for your health, which are themes related to the franchise. But I guess we can let it slide since it is a kick ass song anyway.

“Chain Saw” – The Ramones

The Ramones have shown their love for horror films with tracks like “Pet Sematary,” but this one was influenced by the iconic Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Roaring to life with a buzzing chainsaw, the music is upbeat and is made for moshing. You almost forget about the gruesomeness happening in the lyrics as Joey Ramone sings “Texas chain saw massacre/They took my baby away from me/But she’ll never get out of there.” It also shows how the band had the talent to turn anything into a kick ass punk tune.

“Nosferatu” – Blue Oyster Cult

Before Stephanie Meyers gave us sappy, emo vampires, there was the original Dracula. That then spawned the legendary silent film Nosferatu, which BOC recounts in this haunting song. The lyrics tell the story of a lady doomed to fall in love with the vampire only to end with his demise by sunlight. It’s not the only song out there about the famous creature of the night, but it does stay pretty faithful to the nature of the film.

“Human Fly” – The Cramps

With a slick rockabilly, punk rock infused sound, Cramps frontman Lux Interior hisses, stutters, and buzzes his way through this track inspired by the Vincent Price film The Fly. The simple guitar groove creates this b-movie creature creepiness to it – it would be perfect in a 50’s horror film – perfectly cementing the mood for the cool track. If you’ve seen the movie, especially the 1986 remake, you know that this fly in the song doesn’t sound as chilling as the bastardize experiment.

“Fright Night” – J. Geils Band

Acting as the lead track for this excellent vampire flick, the song is a bit hokey. Think of other “spooky” tracks like “Monster Mash” for an idea. The lyrics describe the antagonist as a liar, a gigolo, “a man of many faces,” while trembling synth tries to create a spooky, creepy riff. Yeah, it’s kind of cheesy, especially with the hook simply shouting “Fright night! Whose it gonna be tonight?” but it grows on you after a while and kind of fits the b-movie mood.

“Freddy Krueger” – S.O.D.

This is a pretty straight forward thrash metal track describing the grotesque manipulator of nightmares, Freddy Krueger. The horror icon is described as having flex metal knuckles and maggots crawling throughout his skin and the chorus features gang vocals shouting “he comes for you/what will you do.” With this track it’s plain and simple that you don’t want to mess with Freddy, no matter how many shitty sequels he has. If you’re looking for another Freddy inspired track, you can check out Dokken’s “Dream Warriors,” but it’s kind of crappy.

“He’s Back (The Man Behind the Mask)” – Alice Cooper

Moving from Freddy to Jason, this song isn’t what I would call one of his best. If anything it’s kind of schlocky, but that just means it’s perfect for a Friday the 13th movie. Recorded for the film Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives, Cooper lays out the basic premise of the film: Jason comes back to life and starts killing foolish teens. The song even makes sure to use the killer’s infamous “ki-ki-ki-ma-ma-ma” echo. Oddly enough, the track is very New Wave in nature making it stand out from Cooper’s other songs. Apparently, Children of Bodom covered this song, but it was never released. I bet their version is pretty killer.

“I Walked with a Zombie” – Wednesday 13

Similar to Rob Zombie, Wednesday 13 is another rock artist who bases his work around his love of horror movies. This was inspired by the 1943 flick of the same name. The lyrics even loosely follow the story of a woman who enters a trance like state and is taken to a mysterious island where she tries to find a cure. The video itself features scenes from the famous zombie film Night of the Living Dead. 13 has a ton of songs based on horror movies, but with the upbeat music and the catchy hook, this is his most popular.

“Night of the Living Dead” – The Misfits

There’s something about punk rock and horror that mesh so well together and The Misfits always know how to do it best. Released on their debut album Walk Among Us, the song loosely follows the plot of the movie by talking about not knowing who’s a zombie and seeing them rip apart your loved ones. It’s short, sweet, and sure to give you your zombie fix.

“Evil Dead” – Death

This death metal band pays homage to the first film in the Evil Dead franchise with this chaotic song. Guitars grind and thrash while singer Chuck Schuldiner screams and rages about “spirits within causing terror” and voices speaking out. The lyrics are pretty sparse with vague references to the movie. The only way you know it’s about the horror film is the chorus that yells “evil dead!” over and over again. This isn’t the only time a rock band would use Evil Dead as an influence and I’m sure it won’t be the last.

“Psycho Killer” – Talking Heads

The lyrics for this track were largely inspired by Norman Bates from the Hitchcock classic Psycho. Here, David Byrne explores the fractured and shattered mind of a serial killer. How he came up with the song is kind of strange. According to Bryne, this was his attempt at making an Alice Cooper song except in the style of Randy Newman. He felt the result was pretty silly, but it proved to be another hit for the band. Though it’s a great song, I prefer Cage the Elephant’s cover.

Honorable Mention

“Black Sabbath” – Black Sabbath

Even though both the title of the song and the band were taken from the 1969 horror film of the same name, the lyrics have nothing to do with the movie. But you have to give a nod to the movie that would give birth to the best heavy metal band in music history. Also, the song is just fucking terrifying. The lyrics are actually based on a supernatural experience Geezer Butler had. According to him, after painting his apartment black, hanging up several crosses, and reading a book on witchcraft before going to bed, a black figure appeared at the end of his bed. When he went to get the book he discovered it was gone. This remains one of the band’s strongest tracks and the one that gave them their Satanist connections though they were unfounded.

There are a lot of horror inspired songs out there, so which ones did I miss? Let me know in the comments!

Transylvania 90210: Songs of Death, Dying, and the Dead – Wednesday 13

Release Year: 2005

Rating: 7/10

It’s been ten years since Wednesday 13 brought his love of horror movies to the music world. He’s been in multiple bands, including the Murderdolls, but is best known for his solo material. While he just released his eight studio album a few months ago, let’s take a look at his solo debut. His music explores themes of the supernatural, ghouls, zombies, and other horrific creatures. And while he makes it work for a lot of the songs, some of them have the tendency to come off as cheesy, sort of like the movies he loves.

Right from the instrumental intro track “Post Mortum Boredom,” which sounds like it was ripped from an old horror movie, you know you’re in for some horror-punk goodness. “Look What the Bats Dragged In” has a gritty hard rock vibe along with a mix of 80s hair metal, particularly when it comes to the guitar solo. This has all the markings of a Wednesday 13 song: loud music, lots of howls, and lyrics that talk about the dead and dying. While it’s not his strongest track it’s still a good representation of the album. “I Walked with a Zombie” is one of the more well known songs and has a bit of a different vibe. It sounds more like a pop-punk song with the various melodies and a clapping beat. There’s even a part where Wednesday sings “Whoa oh oh oh oh” like he’s in Poison. That’s not to say it makes the song bad; it’s definitely catchy and energetic.

Bad Things” takes influence from 80s glam metal as the singer wishes the most horrible things to happen to his enemy, while “House by the Cemetery” has more of a straight forward heavy metal sound. It mixes schlocky horror sounds like creepy laughter and creaking doors with aggressive and brutal riffs. These two songs are where Wednesday 13 shines. He perfectly mixes his horror-punk vibe in a way that doesn’t sound like he’s trying too hard. The same can’t be said about the track “Haunt Me.” It starts off on a promising note with the creepy carnival music and maniacal laughing. 13 sings in a hushed voice bringing a different style to his vocals that hasn’t been heard before. But the lyrics are too cheesy for their own good. It’s a love song that’s about meeting up on Halloween and being “scared to death.” It tries too hard to bring a creepy element to a love song.

The title track has the same problem. The opening verse sounds like it was written by a 15 year old goth “poet:” “My room came alive, my dog just died, stacked 13 pennies in his eyes/I stared at the wall, it stared back at me/Started to breath and then it started to bleed.” The creepy intent is there, but it doesn’t succeed. Again, it sounds like he’s trying too hard to be disturbing and depressing. Aside from that, the song is pretty weak in general. The lyrics are boring, the music is too slow, and it dulls you before the track is over.

One of the best songs on the LP is “Rot for Me.” Here, 13 returns to the hard rock sound that’s so infectious it lures you in. The way he snarls at the beginning of the hook is viscous, like he’s a dog ready to attack. It’s oddly catchy with its simple, repetitive riff of “Rot for me/my darling.” “I Want You Dead” is another strong track with an “I-hate-you-so-much-I-want-you-to-die” message. This track is full of high energy and speeding guitars that have a punk rock feel. “Buried by Christmas” is a curious entry. As I mentioned on a previous playlist, it’s a great Christmas song, but why does it have to be included on the album? It should’ve been released as a single or b-side. The way it is now it interrupts the flow of the record, unless you’re one of those people who like listening to Christmas songs all year round. Weirdo.

“Elect Death for President” mixes things up a bit in terms of music. It begins with a shuffling vibe similar to Rob Zombie’s “House of 1000 Corpses” before moving into a jazz sound that really throws you off. While it’s confusing at first, especially when the horns come in later, it oddly works with the song. The downside is the chorus, which sounds very similar to “Bad Things.” Though it’s one of the better songs on the album, it crosses the cheesy line once too many times. “The Ghost of Vincent Price” would make any classic horror fan proud. Featuring a creepy theremin, which was a staple in horror music, the singer makes several reference to the later actor’s movies, including House on Haunted Hill and House of Wax. While it’s far from the best track on the record, it’s still better than the closing track “A Bullet Named Christ,” which tries too hard to be gloomy and depressing.

The album was actually better than I thought. There are some strong tracks that will feed your wild, heavy metal side. There are even moments when 13 mixes his horror references with his music delightfully. But there are other times when it comes off as cheesy, forced, and over the top. Maybe this is the point, he is a fan of cheesy b-movies after all, but there are times when it’s too much to handle. Wednesday 13 has fine tuned his craft over the years, but his first solo outing predicted a promising career for the ghoul master.