Valentine’s Day

Playlist: Lovin’ the Dead

If your local stores are being taken over by red and pink teddy bears and lots of chocolates, then you know Valentine’s Day is on the way. Some see it as a romantic day to remind that special someone you love them. Others see it as corporate made up bullshit to sell more greeting cards and candy no one will finish. So instead of recapping sappy love songs that every playlist on the internet will be talking, let’s look at the dark side of love no one wants to talk about: necrophilia. For reasons that remain unknown for the majority of the population, some people really get off on the dead. It’s a taboo subject, making it perfect for rock and heavy metal stars to talk about. There are a disturbing amount of songs about necrophilia out there, so let’s check out a small sampling. Just remember when you’re listening to songs about caressing dead flesh and breathing in rotten smells, have a happy Valentine’s Day.

“Night Shift” – Siouxsie and the Banshees

Siouxsie and the Banshees have never shied away from the Gothic and the macabre, but here they get downright disturbing. This track from their 1981 album Juju, paints a graphic picture of a madman who kills women and then has their way with them. Siouxsie sings “The cold marble slab submits at my feet/With a neat dissection/Looking so sweet to me /please come to me/With your cold flesh/my cold love.” Her haunting delivery and the dark lyrics are enough to give you chills. As if that wasn’t bad enough, the song is based on the crimes of Peter Sutcliffe aka The Yorkshire Ripper. The English killer murdered 13 women between 1975 – 1980. He was finally convicted in 1981. So yeah, this song is kind of terrifying.

“I Want You…Dead” – Wednesday 13

Wednesday 13 has made a career out of singing about the dead. Writing songs about loving the dead is kind of his thing and it’s no different on this track from his solo debut album. Here, he makes it clear how he likes his women, no longer breathing: “Give ’em to me decayed, give ’em to me anyway/I don’t care ’cause you know I only want you/Dead, dead, dead.” He doesn’t even care if his dead lady decides to come back to life, kill him slowly or butcher, he just wants them dead. Thankfully, 13 spares us of the details of what he wants to do with the dead. But it’s not hard to put two and two together.

“I Love the Dead” – Alice Cooper

Is there any surprise Alice Cooper has a song about necrophilia? Coming from the album Billion Dollar Babies, an album exploring the dark, sick perversions in humans, Cooper sings about how much he loves the dead. It’s pretty straight forward as he sings about how he likes the dead “before they’re cold” and how he has “other uses” for them. If it wasn’t clear enough what plans he has for them, the bridge of the song features Cooper moaning and groaning in the throes of what I can only assume is pleasure. It may be one of the tamer songs about necrophilia sparing gory details, but for 1973 it was beyond scandalous. It remains one of Cooper’s most beloved songs and one that puts the talents of the band on display.

“I Fell in Love with a Dead Boy” – Antony and the Johnsons

This is probably the most beautiful song about the dead on this playlist. The haunting, yet beautiful voice of Anohni is enough to bring you to tears as she sings about a dead boy she found. Though the person is clearly dead and the protagonist even wonders if she should call a doctor, she lays with him anyway. Slowly, she falls in love with him though no one else understands the relationship. Oddly enough, it’s very sweet and sentimental. It’s haunting and downright gorgeous, which you don’t expect from a song about the dead.

“Corpse in my Bed” – Creature Feature

With psychedelic music made for The Munsters, this horror rock duo actually questions how wrong it is to have a corpse in your bed. They don’t go into disgusting detail, but like other songs on the playlist, they find comfort in their dead love. The singer here doesn’t care if his love is just skin and bone. The only thing he seems to mind is the smell, which is a mix of “rancid milk and moldy pears.” He later admits he’s just alone and doesn’t want to be by himself. Why he just doesn’t meet someone online is beyond me. At least he seems to just be lying next to the corpse in this song.

“Last Kiss Goodbye” – Lordi

It makes sense that a Finnish metal band that frequently dresses as demons occasionally sing about loving the dead. In this track, frontman Mr. Lordi sings about finding a lovely dead woman under the trees, wrapped in leaves, yet knowing he can share his desire with no one else. He vows to keep it a secret as he gives her one last kiss. The song takes a somewhat comical approach to the subject with the line “It’s been years since we last met/Now it’s fall and the leaves are wet/I think you must have lost some weight/but you’re still lovely.” For a song about necrophilia, it’s surprisingly upbeat. You’ll find yourself singing along before realizing what it’s actually about.

“Heirate Mich” – Rammstein

This track, which means “Marry Me” in German, finds a widowed man so desperate to be with his loved one again he goes to extreme lengths to be with her. The song details him digging into the earth, pulling her up, and caressing her cold skin. The lyrics get a tad disgusting when Till Lindemann sings about her skin feeling like paper and pieces of her falling away. The man is tortured as she has slipped away from him once again. Rather than talking about screwing dead corpses, this is a tragic tale of not getting over losing a loved one. The song doesn’t seem as shocking, disturbing, or nasty as the others on the playlist. It’s quite sad, making you feel bad for the guy. Of course with its boot-stomping rhythm and intense vocals, Rammstein still finds a way to make the song brutal.

“Dead Girls” – Voltaire

Voltaire deals with all things dark, Gothic, and macabre, so it makes sense to find one of his songs on the list. But this one differs from most here. Rather than being about not getting over a lost love or just having a weird fetish, Voltaire tells the story of a man who prefers his women dead because he has rotten luck with living women. This man loves the dead because they don’t hurt him, fully accept him, and are kind in a way no other woman has been. Looking at it this way, you feel bad for the guy. He only feels comfortable around the dead, even though he knows it’s pretty strange. Thinking about it that way it’s not as creepy, but still creepy.

“Chrissy Kiss the Corpse” – Of Montreal

You wouldn’t expect this jaunty tune to be about a girl with a disturbing habit. Sounding like an upbeat vintage beach party tune, the band sings about finding a corpse at the bus stop and having fun with it. But drawing on it and putting a match between its toes is nothing compared to what Chrissy does with it. Granted it’s only a kiss, nothing too graphic, but the song suggests this isn’t the first time Chrissy has exhibited such behavior. Even the cops that come by wanting to check out the action. Is doing the actual kissing of the corpse more disturbing than watching it happen? Eh, this song is weird either way.

“Die My Bride” – Murderdolls

Wednesday 13 pops up again with another song about loving the dead with his former horrorpunk outfit the Murderdolls. Here 13 gets a bit more graphic as he details all the blood and gore. He’s not just digging up girls to get busy with. He goes for a fresh kill before he says “I do.” There’s talk of pulling off fingers and bashing in heads in this gruesome song. It sounds like a plot of a shlocky b-horror movie, which makes sense coming from 13 and crew.

“Fuck the Dead” – GG Allin

When you’re known for cutting and shitting yourself on stage, threating to commit suicide live, and fighting with the crowd, a song about necrophilia doesn’t seem so shocking. So of course, it would be a topic GG Allin would cover. Allin isn’t subtle about desires in the least. The hook is nothing but him shouting “fuck the dead/fuck the dead.” And he goes for distasteful as he describes eating maggots, rotten smells, and screwing every cold orifice. It’s disgusting and lewd, much like Allin himself.

“Necrophiliac” – Slayer

This song isn’t just about screwing the dead; it’s about breeding the spawn of Satan. This is the type of song that scared the shit out of parents in the 80s. It’s full of bloated corpses, lewd imagery, sex, and of course, the devil. After doing the deed with the corpse, a demon bursts out of the body and takes revenge against the one who took advantage of the dead body. Now, the necrophiliac has to spend the rest of his life in hell burning in the fiery depths. So, I guess it’s teaching a lesson about not fucking dead bodies?

“Born in a Casket” – Cannibal Corpse

Cannibal Corpse is known for shocking and disgusting people with their album artwork alone. So, a song detailing necrophilia is par for the course. This song pulls no punches and maps out every nasty, gruesome detail about the deed: the rotten smell, oozing goo, and green pus. Just when things couldn’t get nastier, the breeding produces an unholy spawn, which proceeds to feast on the dead flesh. And of course, there’s mention of “devouring the afterbirth.” This song isn’t for the faint of heart, that is if you can understand what they’re saying. Maybe it’s best to have the lyrics handy when listening to this one.

Which song about necrophilia got under your skin the most? Which ones did I forget? Let me know in the comments!

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Playlist: Love Stinks

In case you didn’t get the memo, Valentine’s day is this weekend. That means being bombarded with overpriced sweets, sappy movies, and seeing way too much PDA. If you’re already sick of lovesick songs taking over the radio, then this playlist has you cover. This is for anyone who has been burned by love or just really hates Valentine’s day. These songs are all about hatred and are the perfect anti-love songs for your weekend.

“Cry Me a River” – Justin Timberlake

Two major things happened in Justin Timberlake’s life in 2002: his long running relationship with Britney Spears ended and his debut solo album came out. Of course the two are connected despite what Timberlake says. The song deals with someone being wronged and getting sweet revenge to set things right again. With several references to cheating and lying, it was easy to make connections to his real life troubles. That point hit home when the video was released that gave several clues it was about Britney Spears including a look alike and the use of fairies, Spears’ favorite at the time. It remains one of the best “fuck yous” in music.

“Hyper Music” – Muse

This is one of Muse’s most intense songs with a slashing guitar riff, heavy drums, and snarling bass. It’s full of aggression and anger that keeps bleeding until the song’s end. But underneath the ass kicking music is a song about a bitter relationship. What makes it so damning is when Matt Bellamy screams at the top of his lungs “You know that I don’t love you/I never did!” He’s down right brutal as if to say no more beating around the bush. Bellamy himself has said it’s about wanting to destroy someone you loved. With harsh words like that matched with frantic, sneering music I’d say mission accomplished.

“Pleasure and Pain” – Bullet for my Valentine

Bullet takes out their anger for shitty relationships on this track. The blazing guitars and dancing solos can’t hide the fact that they’re fed up and refuse to hide it anymore. With a hook of “You don’t bring me pleasure/you just bring me pain/over and over again” you can tell the relationship is on its last long. It’s another track that’s brutally honest and is sick of playing nice when it comes to the topic of love.

“She Hates Me” – Puddle of Mudd

These Nirvana wannabes have the essential anti-Valentine’s day song with what has to be their most notable single. It dawns upon some poor sucker that the girl he’s been chasing fucking hates him. And we’re reminded of this over and over and over again. As forgettable as the band is they managed to catch everyone’s attention with the explicit laden hook that’s damning, yet catchy at the same time.

“Love Will Tear us Apart” – Joy Division

Despite the upbeat, catchy synth music this song is pretty tragic. The late Ian Curtis maps out the disintegration of a relationship in a reflecting and sad manner. It’s about when two people know it’s not working anymore and are wondering who’s going to be the first to leave. The lyrics are based on Curtis’ own marriage to Deborah Curtis, who were having their own share of troubles. The title is a play on the song “Love Will Keep us Together.” Deborah even had the title inscribed on Curtis’ grave.

“Fuck You” – CeeLo Green

This humorous single takes the piss out of goldiggers with one simple message: fuck you. CeeLo recounts the tale of chasing after a girl who made it clear he wasn’t rich enough for her. Now, that he’s rolling in dough he has one message for her. Just read the title. It’s the classic story of wanting what you can’t have. Even if you can’t relate to CeeLo’s troubles, you can get on board with telling someone off in such an unapologetic manner.

“I Hate Myself for Loving You” – Joan Jett

It’s no surprise that this bad ass chick doesn’t have the happiest views on love. Though she admits she keeps thinking about this guy night and day, she knows he’s a dog. It’s that complex situation many find themselves in: knowing your mate isn’t the best, but not giving them up for some reason. What’s the result? For Jett it’s getting pissed at herself for not letting this guy go. Note: if someone dedicates this song to you, it may be time to have a talk.

“Caught out There” – Kelis

Kelis shows you don’t mess with a woman when she’s been wronged. In her debut single, Kelis sings sweetly about where her relationship started to go sour. It’s not until the chorus where she unleashes her fury by shouting “I hate you so much right now!” over and over. By the end she has something for her man, which is apparently death since a gun being cocked can be heard. This is also confirmed by the video where she watches her ex dies in the hospital. Who said cheating didn’t have dire consequences?

“Tainted Love” – Softcell

When your love is described as “tainted” you know things aren’t going to end well. That’s what Softcell depicts in their version of the Gloria Jones tune. Despite it’s irresistible hook and catchy synth, the lyrics paint a bleak tale of a relationship that was once desirable, but now finds one of the parties running from the other. But it’s so damn catchy you probably didn’t notice. Also, the video for this is really strange.

“Don’t Wanna Fall in Love” – Green Day

On this b-side, Billie Joe protests the thought of love by saying he doesn’t need someone clinging to him “like a leech” and doesn’t want to deal with all that other love bullshit. Instead he wants to sit “here all my life alone” and repeats how he doesn’t want to fall in love. It’s short, frantic, punk anti-love song that doesn’t hold back. Plus, it’s a great hidden gem from the band.

“Gives You Hell” – The All-American Rejects

The best revenge is living well according to this band. Rather than slashing tires, leaking comprising photos, and jealously, this guy hopes seeing his face is enough to drive his ex mad. One of the best parts of the song is during the bridge where he seems to give in “Truth be told I miss you/but truth be told I’m lying.” Who knew vengeance could be so catchy?

“Love is For Suckers” – Twisted Sister

The guys of Twisted Sister know all the heartache and pain love brings and declares “Love is for suckers!” on this track from their final album of the same name. Though the song is kind of cheesy and funny, it captures the rage of those who believe there’s no such thing as true love. Or at least someone whose been burned a few times.

“I Hate Everything About You” – Three Days Grace

This song really needs no explanation. This is about that moment you have when you realize you can’t stand the person you’re with. The song even asks “Why do I love you?” It may not be the most intense hate you song around, but the message gets across loud and clear. The single wound up being the band’s most popular song and though it’s not one of favorites, it would be a huge oversight to leave it off this list.

“Blow Me (One Last Kiss)” – Pink

Pink is the queen of fuck you songs. Tracks like “You Make me Sick” and “So What” could fit the anti-love bill, but this one is among the best. It’s tongue in cheek, full of her not-taking-your-shit attitude, and manages to be catchy. The best part is when she shouts “I’ve had a shit day/You’ve had a shit day/We’ve had a shit day!” Whether or not you’re in a crappy relationship, everyone can relate to having bad days.

“Love Stinks” – J. Geils Band

C’mon, you saw this one coming.

There are a ton of anti-love songs out there, so which ones did I miss? Let me know in the comments!

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Hello lovelies,

Hope you’re having a good valentine’s. And if you hate this Hallmark holiday, just kick back with some Netflix and chocolate and make it through the day. But here are some cards for you lovely followers. Enjoy!

Note: I didn’t make any of these

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(from http://sketches-in-my-head.tumblr.com/post/76045725255/come-on-be-mine)

 

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(from http://chettacheeze.tumblr.com/post/42972171948/my-nsync-valentines-day-cards-that-i-got-sorry)

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(from http://chettacheeze.tumblr.com/post/42972171948/my-nsync-valentines-day-cards-that-i-got-sorry)