Christmas is almost upon us and that means going through a third straight month of Christmas songs. They’re playing in the malls, they’re playing on the radio, they’re playing on TV. You can’t escape them! But there is a way to escape the monotony. While there are some great Christmas classics out there by this point you may be dying to hear something new. Luckily for you, there are funny, cynical, catchy, and just plain weird Christmas songs out there for everyone. Here are 10 of the best unconventional Christmas songs to get you back in the spirit of the season.
- “I Wish It Was Christmas Today”- Julian Casablancas
The sleepy eyed front man for The Strokes took one of the best SNL holiday sketches and turned it into a full length track. While nothing beats the original skits, this version does the jingle justice. It’s fun, catchy, and will quickly become your new holiday classic. It’s something everyone can enjoy and sing along with. And something about Casablanca’s deep, monotone voice feels perfect for the track. If anything it’ll make you look up those classic skits once the song ends.
- “X-M@$”- Corey Taylor
This is a song for anyone who hates the holidays. Slipknot frontman Corey Taylor sings about why the holidays suck and that the only way to get through them is to be stinking drunk. It’s a hilarious song whether you love or hate Christmas. Taylor’s snarl and cynicism makes him perfect for the track. Even if you do love the season, you have to admit there are some moments that you hate, like carolers, mall crowds, and commercialization, all of which Taylor pokes fun at in this song. Put on this song when you need a moment to vent about the holidays.
- “Sock It To Me Santa”- Bob Seger and The Last Heard
This odd song from Bob Seger puts a little funk in your holiday. It takes both the classic riff and line from the James Brown song “Papa’s Got a Brand New Bag.” It’s got such a great soul funk infused sound that it’ll get you dancing around the Christmas tree. Who knew Seger could rock this hard. My only question is what does he mean when he says “Sock it to me Santa?” Is he trying to proposition him or does he want St. Nick to punch him in the jaw. You know what, don’t focus on that. Dance your ass off instead.
- “The Night Santa Went Crazy”- Weird Al Yankovic
Weird Al is the king of parody and humorous songs, so it’s only natural that he would have a hilarious Christmas track. It’s a ditty about a night when Santa just couldn’t take it anymore and decided to murder everyone, including his beloved reindeer. He pops in on his elves rifle in hand with “cheap whiskey on his breath.” He continues on his killing rampage until the authorities capture Santa and put him in the slammer. After this song you’ll never picture St. Nick the same way again. Maybe it’s best to not play this one if you have children around.
- “Merry Something to You”- Devo
This short, but sweet holiday tune from the always weird Devo reaches out to everyone. Rather than focus solely on Christmas, the band wishes everyone a happy holiday, whether you’re Christian, Jewish, or Muslim. The song is classic Devo all the way as it has the weird synth, electronic based music that they’re known for. The best part comes at the end where they sing “dee-dee-dee-lit-do.” Even though it’s on the weird side it still has a positive message of wishing everyone a happy holiday.
- “Things I Want”- Tenacious D & Sum 41
Tenacious D wants you to have a very metal Christmas with this song. This track has the 80’s metal feel to it with the blazing guitar riff and the Rob Halford-esque vocals provided by Jack Black. Sum 41 only provides the music, but since they are old school metal fans themselves they do a pretty good job of making this sound like a song from Judas Priest. The song itself is really funny with Black listing a bunch of improbable “cool shit” he wants from Santa, like “A solid gold Harley with machine guns on the front,” “All the Beatles copyrights,” and “Florida off the map.” A rocking song for a rocking Christmas.
- “Just Another Christmas Song”- Stephen Colbert
This is probably the funniest and most honest song about Christmas all provided by funny man Stephen Colbert. Though not a singer himself Colbert sounds pretty good with his own lounge singer like style. This track mainly pokes fun at the consumerism of the season and how he made the song in the first place to earn more money in royalties. Oddly enough, it sounds like something Seth McFarlene would do; don’t be surprised if he does a cover of it in the future (duet with Colbert would be better). This fun song is a great way to spice up your Christmas play list.
- “I Won’t Be Home for Christmas”- Blink-182
Here’s yet another cynical song about what a pain the holidays are. This track has the classic Blink sound and attitude with the opening line declaring “Outside the carolers sing/I can’t describe the joy they bring/cause joy is something they don’t bring me.” Mark Hoppus even makes a reference to the elves calling them “Satan’s Helpers.” It’s a great song that shows no matter how fun the holidays are there are always those moments that just annoy the piss out of us. Another anti-holiday track to check out by the boys is “Happy Holidays, You Bastard.” This one doesn’t solely focus on Christmas, but the first verse is dedicated to it. Overall, it shows why you only meet with your family once a year.
- “Thank God It’s Christmas”- Queen
Yes, Queen made a Christmas song and it’s as epic as you think it is. This holiday tune has the big sound and dramatic feel of the band’s biggest hits, so it’s odd how this is rarely played on the Christmas stations. Mercury’s amazing and powerful voice gives the song some weight and for some reason, it seems to exemplify what the season is supposed to be about: being together with loved ones and enjoying the beauty of the holiday. For some reason, I picture streets lined with decorated houses for Christmas whenever I hear this song. It’s an underrated holiday song that really deserves some more love.
- “Christmas in Hollis”- Run DMC
Ever since I was little this has been my favorite Christmas song. It’s original, memorable, and fun as hell to sing along to. Not only is it a classic, but you can’t overlook that it was groundbreaking for its time. This showed rap fans they had something to jam to during the holidays. There are so many fun and attention-grabbing moments, with my personal favorite being “It’s Christmas time in Hollis queens/mom’s cooking chicken and collard greens.” It could be because it made me think of my mom’s own home cooking, but either way, the song is awesome and still sounds great today. This is one song you have to hear at least once during Christmas.
Bonus: “Homo Christmas”- Pansy Division
Though this didn’t make the top ten, this song is too hilarious and unique to not be mentioned. In case you don’t know, Pansy Division is a queer punk band that’s been going strong since the early 90’s. They’re notable because their songs deal with gay themes. They even covered Nirvana’s hit “Smells Like Teen Spirit” under the guise “Smells Like Queer Spirit.” Just by looking at the title you know this isn’t a Christmas song to enjoy with the family. If you can’t guess what it’s about, here it is summed up for you in the opening line: “You’ll probably get sweaters/Underwear and socks/But what you’d really like for Christmas/Is a nice hard cock.” This is perfect for those who wants some sexy in their season instead of yule tide carols and fruit cake.
Do you know anymore weird or crazy Christmas songs? Let me know in the comments and enjoy the holidays!