Mini Music Movie Review: Madonna: Innocence Lost (1994)

lame madonna

Unless you’ve been cut off from all source of media for the past week, you know that the TV biopic Liz & Dick bombed. This led to several articles about other made for TV biopics that are just as shitty and this one about Madonna really surprised me, mainly because I didn’t know they actually made a TV movie for her (I think she deserves better than that), and yes it’s terrible. For some reason, there are people out there that think this is a great movie, but no it’s just shit.

Probably the most annoying thing about the flick is the fact that the actress that plays the Queen of Pop looks nothing like her, no matter how much make up they cake on. There are times where she manages to sound like her, but there is no resemblance. It may not be a big deal for people, but it really bugged me. Personally, I think one of the most fun things with movies about celebrities is seeing how much the actor looks like the star and there are some really good examples out there (like Val Kilmer in The Doors), but this is the worst. She couldn’t even make up for her appearance with her acting because it stunk.

Another problem with this movie is that it seems to exaggerate everything from how she left home to her performance on the 1984 VMAs. Rather than coming off as a strong, independent woman, this movie makes her a whiny bitch who uses everyone to get what she wants. I’m sure there are people out there who would agree with this depiction, but they give her no credit. She leaves when something doesn’t go her way and she sleeps with men to get where she needs to be. Now, obviously I don’t know Madonna and maybe she did do that, I’m not sure, but the way it was presented in this movie made it seem like she couldn’t be around a man without wanting to tear off his clothes and that she could never be in a committed relationship. It was just really annoying.

The movie is based on a book by Christopher Anderson and was directed by Bradford May. I only mention this because it seems like everything that I read or watch about Madonna that was written by a man always has negative connotations about her. And they always seem to pinpoint the reason that she rebelled and became a sexpot is because she wanted to go against her dad and had numerous daddy issues. We see the same thing in this movie. They even make “the singer” say it herself in the beginning of the movie. They also paint her to be an ignorant little girl who is lost and needs someone around to control her. Also, the name of movie makes it sound like something tragic, as if we need to look down upon her for how she turned out.

Unless you want to have a good laugh, don’t waste your time with this movie. I am convinced that this was made by people who don’t like Madonna for people who hate Madonna. She’s not depicted as strong, independent, and not afraid to speak her mind. Instead she is whiny, rude, bitchy, and manipulative. The facts in this movie (if there are any) are all muddled up and there are so many sex scenes that I almost thought I was watching soft core porn. Look, I know Madonna is wild and has a sexpot reputation, but the woman deserves better than this. Whether you love or hate her, she is a huge part of music history and so many artists still look up to her today. If you want to see the train wreck for yourself the whole thing is up on Youtube.

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